First Google, Then Everything You See!

ATTENTION HUMANS:


When you arose this morning, you probably thought it was just like any other day. You were wrong. Humans, today is the day this blog finally appears on Google searches. It is therefore highly unlikely that your life will ever be the same again.

When I first began this blog I was under the belief that everything can be Googled. However, when I tried to find my blog via that particular search engine I was quite surprised to find that such a feat was impossible! It seems Google takes time to add new websites to its massive directory. But now, at long last, if you type "Kazara's guide to the internet" into Google, it will come right up! Of course, you do have to include the quotes. Otherwise a multitude of other websites come first. But this is still progress!

I will not rest at this though! Hopefully soon quotes will not be necessary to make my blog appear on the first page of results! Then eventually, you can just type Kazara, and I will be first. Or just Internet! And then, when my blog has reached maximum exposure, any Google search at all will suggest my blog as the first result. It is inevitable, readers!

It makes me wonder, though. If this blog becomes even more and more exposed, will these results spill over to other websites? I know that many websites try to cater their content to what users are likely to find of interest. Perhaps, one day, if you search for a particular book on Internet website Amazon.com, the first result will be a suggestion for users to view my blog. Even completely unrelated books! Cookbook seekers will find themselves forced to consider whether they actually want recipes for meatloaf, or if their true desire is to read my tips on the Internet.

Or, say you have a mysterious fungus growing inside your ears, and attempt to search for it on Webmd.com. Perhaps, before suggesting you seek medical attention, it will advise you first consult my blog. However, I must admit, this may not be the most helpful suggestion. I do not plan on spending many posts discussing the diagnosis and treatment of ear fungi, or any other kind of fungi for that matter. So to future readers searching back through my old posts, if you have been directed here by Webmd.com I apologize, but this blog has minimal anti-fungal tips.

Maybe this system will eventually spread beyond the Internet! Perhaps at grocery stores, they will add my blog to their list of general questions! "Paper or plastic? Would you like to sign up for our discount card? Would you like to hear the latest from Kazara's Guide to the Internet?" This is a very common occurrence on my planet, and many other so-called "alien" worlds. Grocery shopping is a full day chore, mostly because of the standard questions grocery clerks are required to ask. One of the blogs I wrote back on my planet became quite popular, and before one televised athletic competition viewers were consulted as to whether they would like to view my latest entry before watching the match. None did, but it was still an honor!


On Earth, I understand that this is not usually the case. You have an advertising system that forces one to pay astronomical amounts of money in order to interrupt a televised sporting event. This seems very unfair to me. All sentient life forms ought to be able to disrupt your viewing habits with attempts to draw in your attention. Why should only the rich and powerful have the opportunity to annoy and frustrate?

When will humans learn the importance of equality?