ATTENTION HUMANS:
If you read my last post, then you will know that I have just signed up for an account on the Internet website Twitter. I understand it is typical to "follow" other Twitter Users, so I searched around for Twitter Users of Interest. While searching for humans whose lives I care about, I came across the Twitter account of "The Negotiator" of "Priceline Negotiator" fame.
How excited I was! I am a huge fan of his Commercial Videos. I believe they are connected to some sort of travel website. I have never visited the website, but I greatly enjoy that little man's zest for life and bargains! Sometimes he convinces vacationers not to settle for full price plane tickets! Sometimes he talks hotels into giving outrageous discounts! I cannot get enough!
So when I saw that he was a Twitter user like myself I hastily became a follower. I was eager to read details of his adventures in deal hunting. But that is not what I received! Instead, the Negotiator's Twitter Feed is almost entirely invitations to become his Facebook fan, with the promise of a potential $35 if he gets enough fans. Readers, I do not want $35. I want stories about a man whose heart is set on the lowest hotel rate possible!
Twitter gives me the option not to follow him any more. However, I refuse to give up on him. I will keep reading The Negotiator's Twitter, on the off chance that he finally realizes that what the world needs is to read about his quest for less expensive travel.
Never forget humans, dreams are important.
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
How To Use Twitter To Improve Home Security
ATTENTION HUMANS:
It will interest you all to know that from this day forward you can access my wealth of knowledge on the Internet website Twitter! You can view my Twitter Internet Account here.
Twitter is a wonderful resource. For those of you unfamiliar with it, or suffering from temporary memory loss, Twitter is an Internet website that allows users to view descriptions of random, often insignificant experiences in the lives of friends, family, celebrities, and complete strangers. I have spent many an afternoon memorizing the daily routines of humans I've never even met! It's fascinating!
Though entertaining, Twitter also poses a wealth of dangers. For example, say one weekend I hear some former colleagues of mine from my home planet are coming to visit, and I suddenly need to get out of town for a few days to avoid them. I might be tempted to post a Tweet something like this:
"Due to unforeseen circumstances I will not be residing at my usual dwelling for the next few solar cycles. For urgent matters, feel free to communicate via mobile cellular telephone device. That is all!"
This would be great for keeping my friends and well-wishers updated of my situation. But what about when I get home, to find all my worldly possessions stolen? Not a pleasant outcome!
So when using Twitter, be sure to make it impossible for potential burglars to know when your dwelling will be most vulnerable. Which is why, in the previous situation, I would post something like this:
"Looking forward to a nice night of watching my front door with a shotgun."
That is much less likely to result in home invasion! Who wants to rob a house currently being guarded by a resident watching the door with a shotgun? Moreover, who wants to antagonize the kind of person who would stay home one a Friday night watching the door with a shotgun? My home will be safe and sound!
But be careful not to write the same thing every time you go out of town, or burglars will start to catch on! Mix it up a little!
"Having my karate class over for dinner tonight. I asked them to bring extra nunchucks."
"Working up my tolerance to various poisonous gases this weekend. How toxic my apartment will be!"
"Just bought a vicious tiger. He's getting along great with my ferocious jaguar!"
No one would want to burgle a dwelling under any of those situations! Of course, it is possible for potential thieves to find out you are bluffing. To avoid this, you must make it a possibility that you are telling the truth. Purchase a shotgun, and spend some evenings watching the front door with it. Adopt a vicious tiger, or, failing that, a ferocious jaguar.
Stay safe readers! And I hope you enjoy my new Twitter feed!
It will interest you all to know that from this day forward you can access my wealth of knowledge on the Internet website Twitter! You can view my Twitter Internet Account here.
Twitter is a wonderful resource. For those of you unfamiliar with it, or suffering from temporary memory loss, Twitter is an Internet website that allows users to view descriptions of random, often insignificant experiences in the lives of friends, family, celebrities, and complete strangers. I have spent many an afternoon memorizing the daily routines of humans I've never even met! It's fascinating!
Though entertaining, Twitter also poses a wealth of dangers. For example, say one weekend I hear some former colleagues of mine from my home planet are coming to visit, and I suddenly need to get out of town for a few days to avoid them. I might be tempted to post a Tweet something like this:
"Due to unforeseen circumstances I will not be residing at my usual dwelling for the next few solar cycles. For urgent matters, feel free to communicate via mobile cellular telephone device. That is all!"
This would be great for keeping my friends and well-wishers updated of my situation. But what about when I get home, to find all my worldly possessions stolen? Not a pleasant outcome!
So when using Twitter, be sure to make it impossible for potential burglars to know when your dwelling will be most vulnerable. Which is why, in the previous situation, I would post something like this:
"Looking forward to a nice night of watching my front door with a shotgun."
That is much less likely to result in home invasion! Who wants to rob a house currently being guarded by a resident watching the door with a shotgun? Moreover, who wants to antagonize the kind of person who would stay home one a Friday night watching the door with a shotgun? My home will be safe and sound!
But be careful not to write the same thing every time you go out of town, or burglars will start to catch on! Mix it up a little!
"Having my karate class over for dinner tonight. I asked them to bring extra nunchucks."
"Working up my tolerance to various poisonous gases this weekend. How toxic my apartment will be!"
"Just bought a vicious tiger. He's getting along great with my ferocious jaguar!"
No one would want to burgle a dwelling under any of those situations! Of course, it is possible for potential thieves to find out you are bluffing. To avoid this, you must make it a possibility that you are telling the truth. Purchase a shotgun, and spend some evenings watching the front door with it. Adopt a vicious tiger, or, failing that, a ferocious jaguar.
Stay safe readers! And I hope you enjoy my new Twitter feed!
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