Google Confuses the Past!

ATTENTION HUMANS:

Lately, I have been having difficulty with the space time continuum.

The problem is with Internet website Google. Usually I love Google. I use it for everything, recipes, directions, whether or not a movie is good. I use it to find out if my roommate has correct information, or if she is just making things up. It is usually the later. For example, Adam West is a real person, not just a fictional character on Family Guy.

However, the way Google presents news articles is completely unacceptable. When you Google a news item, articles come up that are old, sometimes very old. I don't always notice the year the article is dated. And I don't always remember year it is right now. This can cause a lot of confusion! Sometimes I read an article about a great sale going on, then when I show up at the store I find out they've been out of business for seven years. This happens more often than you might think, because the same article keeps coming up on searches for sales on novelty candle holders, and the local novelty candle holder store closed down seven years ago.

This also makes it difficult to understand recent history. I have been living in the United States since coming to Earth, and have been trying to catch up on its situation. But since I haven't been reading news articles in the correct order I had a completely inaccurate understanding of what has been going on! I thought the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico happened before Hurricane Katrina. In fact I thought it was the cause. I thought that's why everyone is so worried about saving energy, so we don't spill anymore and cause another hurricane. I have been recycling for nothing!

I wish that someone would go through news archives and label all of the old articles. They could put a big warning label up top, "ATTENTION READERS: This article is more than a year old, and thus is probably no longer relevant to your daily life. Continue reading at your own risk!" This would save me a great deal of trouble!