Movies Are Not Always Factual

ATTENTION HUMANS:

If you are in possession of a television set, it is possible that you have seen commercials for the film "The Social Network." For those of you unlucky enough to possess such equipment, or own it but chose not to use it, "The Social Network" is about one of largest Internet websites, Facebook. It displays its creator as Mark Zuckerberg, a student of Harvard University with a dream in his heart and a tremendous amount of numbers in his brain. He uses this numerical knowledge to create a website where everyone can learn anything about anyone. Going about this is apparently very dramatic and scandalous, and makes Mark's best friend hate him.

What a string of lies! I have not seen this film, but from what I have seen on my television and read on Wikipedia, this movie has an extraordinary lack of truth! Perhaps Mark Zuckerberg went to Harvard. And maybe he lost his best friend. But he most certainly did not create Internet website Facebook!

That is simply not how websites are made. The Internet, as I have explained before, is a gelatinous substance in the Earth's core. This is where websites come from! They don't get made by nerdy Ivy League geniuses.
That's just silly.

I suppose it's a simpler explanation that a mysterious substance creating websites at random and for no apparent reason, but simple explanations are not always correct. It may also make humans feel more secure to think that websites are created by other humans, especially if they are made by well educated ones. Humans act on human-style motivations. Who knows what could motivate a gelatinous substance! Perhaps one day it will change everyone's Facebook status to "being a loser", or make every Google search turn up Wikipedia entries on 14th century politics.

Humans, I realize that you like to feel happy and safe. But you must understand that neither is the purpose of the Internet.