Honesty Has No Place On Foursquare

ATTENTION HUMANS:

Last post you read about my attempts to seem more popular on Facebook in an attempt to impress my former colleagues. But I am not stopping there! I am now ALSO using Internet website Foursquare to appear even MORE impressive!

Foursquare is an Internet website that allows users to "check in" to locations, thus letting their friends and stalkers know exactly where they are. Users are intended to use this to meet up with friends, let everyone know where good spots are, or simply to brag about their mobile lifestyles. However, I intend to use Foursquare the way many people use the Internet; to appear more interesting than I actually am!

To accomplish this, I simply tell Foursquare that I am currently someplace where I am not! Foursquare knows I am lying, since their technologically advanced robots are always watching. Nevertheless, they will not keep me from lying, they will only refuse to award points for my fake check-ins. I do not mind such a penalty, points are not my goal!

I started this little scheme today, and already my Foursquare makes me seem like a fabulous jet-setter! My day started with an exotic breakfast at a 7-11 in beautiful Honolulu, Hawaii. I then checked in at a post office in Venice, Italy, where I discussed postage rates with a genuine Venetian postal worker. For Lunch I indulged in a two piece white chicken meal at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in London. I spent my afternoon touring a Walmart in Buenos Aires, and my night at a late night Taco Bell in Mumbai.

I am on my way to becoming so cool!!

My only fear is the Foursquare mayors. It seems that the most frequent visitor of a particular place is given the responsibility of being its mayor. I do not know how much power these mayors have, I only hope they do not have the power to put an end to my deceit!