hey guyz! kazaras not here but its okay!

attention everyone!

so kazara isnt here right now. this is her awesome roommate posting for her, lol. i'm psyched to be posting for her, ive told her she should let me write a post but omg she never listens. today i finally got my chance! when some of her friends from her hometown showed up this afternoon, she grabbed this weird trophy she keeps on the coffee table and bailed through the fire escape. and her friends were all pissed. after they finished searching through her stuff they were all like "whens she getting back?" and im like "omg, i dunno, txt her". you guys, they didn't know how to txt. they didnt even have cell phones! ppl from kazara's hometown are so messed up, lol.

so before kazara left she shouted "dont stop the signal", which i think means she wanted me to update her blog while shes gone. you guys are so lucky, i know way more about the internet than her. omg she doesnt even have a facebook yet.

monday kazara posted about how im trying online dating for the first time. im way nervous, just cause ive never done it before. kazara says its really fun tho, so i guess ill try it. i mostly did what she said to do for my profile, I was totally honest and i made up some bad stuff about myself to look even more honest than i am. i did use a real photo of myself tho. kazara said i should just take one off google images, but i was like "omg no way". im not like vain or anything but i'm super hot, and i want guys online to know it.

but im having a really hard time finding guys that meet all my guidelines. ive found some guys with hot pics, but none of them have cool scars, and none of them mention whether or not they can ride a bike (i think its super cute when a guy cant ride a bike. then i get to watch him try and wobble around, lol so cute).

then i found this one guy who seemed to meet a lot of my guidelines, but his picture was really ugly. but then i thought "maybe he's using a fake picture too, like kazara told me to". so i sent him a message to find out. here, ill show you what i wrote:

"hey hot stuff (or so i hope),

I read your profile, and youve got a lot that im looking for in a boyfriend. u said u just gor your apendix out, so i bet youve got a rad scar (way hot). and you said u drive, so i hope that means u cant ride a bike (omg so cute). u mentioned that u have a short temper too, i hope that means youve killed someone in the past (has to be for good reason tho) i love a guy with a dark past, lol. im attaching a list of my other guidelines, let me know if you dont meet them.

my only problem is that ur picture is totally not hot. at first i was like "ew, no way", but then I thought maybe that picture isnt really u. my roommate tried to get me to use a picture she found on google images, but i was like "no way, i don't need to, im hot". she says sometimes people post fake stuff about themselves that makes them seem less hot, so they'll seem honest.

she kinda confused me, but i think i get it. its like, if you walk into a room and your like "you guys, i just got elected president" no one's gonna believe u, even if you are, cause its like, "hello, that's super hard to do". so even if youre being honest, u don't seem honest, which isn't sexy. so im thinking maybe you posted an ugly photo of yourself cause youre so hot that no one would believe how hot you really are.

message me back if im right, and youre actually super good looking. otherwise dont bother, lol."

i really hope hes actually a total babe. he said hes a banker, so hes probably super rich, and i could use some new shoes.

i hope kazara is ok. i think shell probably be back to post on monday. shes gonna love this post!