Television That Invades Your Daily Life

ATTENTION HUMANS:

Many television programs utilize the power of the Internet to make their fans feel more involved. "How I Met Your Mother" lets viewers enjoy Barney Stinson's off-screen adventures on his blog, and Cable Network Bravo lets viewers vote for their favorite entry on Reality Competition "Top Chef". I understand many fans appreciate such attempts at inclusion, and delight in having an interactive experience with their favorite shows.

I, on the other hand, cannot help but wonder, is television really going far enough?
I wish television networks would try even harder to make their shows more interactive! Barney's blog has no option to leave comments, and if you vote poorly in a Bravo pole there is no harsh reality television judge to call you out on your poor taste. These are both problems that could be remedied so easily!

Here are some of my ideas for shows to reach out to fans like never before!

KAZARA'S BRILLIANT IDEA THE FIRST: Shows should send fans facebook messages based on their most recent updates. For example, if you confirm that you will be attending your friend's Christmas party, Greg House of "House, M.D." should send you a message insulting your Holiday Spirit, but at the same time not-so-subtly pushing for an invite. Or if you change your relationship status from "single" to "in a relationship", your teen heart throb of choice should send you a message threatening physical violence to your new boyfriend or girlfriend.

KAZARA'S BRILLIANT IDEA THE SECOND: Fans of police dramas like "Law and Order" should receive an e-mail from an anonymous source warning them that there is a serial killer on the loose in their neighborhood. Then, after an hour of panic, they should receive another e-mail from the main characters of the show letting the fan know that they just caught the killer. Fans can be part of the mystery! How exciting! Local authorities would have to be warned in advance of course. That way they could know not to answer their 9-1-1 calls until after the prank was over. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise!

KAZARA'S BRILLIANT IDEA THE THIRD: A lot of shows give us characters that we love to hate. But it takes something out of it if the character can't hate us back! Shows should let us make these characters into proper enemies. For example, I hate the character Ryan on "The Office". He's very arrogant, and on my planet a hairstyle like that would get you thrown right down the mine shaft. The marketing team for The Office should make phone calls, as Ryan, to my landlord, employer, neighbors, barber, dentist, and of course friends and family, telling them all sorts of elaborate and embarrassing lies about me. That way, when I watch "The Office", instead of shouting "You think you're so great? Change that hairstyle!" at my television when Ryan comes on screen, I can instead shout "Now I have to find a new dentist because of you! I hate you!" which would make me feel so much more involved in the events of the show.

Marketers, if you're reading this, you should know these ideas are free of charge. I've got enough genius to go round.