I have decided that online dating is a horrible thing, designed only to torment its users' roommates. If you have been reading my blog, then you will remember that my roommate recently dumped her boyfriend who lived a short drive away because he kept ditching her to play World of Warcraft. She quickly met another boyfriend using online dating websites.
This new boyfriend ditches her for World of Warcraft just as much, only now instead of getting into fights at his apartment, she gets into fights with him on Skype. From our living room. The room where I enjoy activities such as eating cereal, watching television, and reading magazines. That space is now constantly full of whining, ranting, and crying. It's terrible.
I have thus decided that my roommate needs a new boyfriend, one who lives close enough for her to go fight with him in person and not in our apartment. To do this, naturally I am using the Internet. My roommate's problem is that she does not know enough eligible men. But I can find her some using the Internet! This time, I will not make the mistake of using dating websites, especially because my roommate claims that she is happy with her current boyfriend and doesn't want me finding a new one for her. So this time I am using Internet website Freecycle.org.
Freecycle is a great Internet website. You put in where you live, and the website directs you to a yahoo!group for that area. Once you join, you can post what you want to give away for free, or what you want to get for free. Other posters then respond to your demands. When I saw this website, I immediately thought it would be the great way to find my roommate a convenient new boyfriend.
The strategy is simple. I post on Internet website Freecycle that I am looking for a random household item. When an eligible-sounding man responds, I ask my roommate to help me pick up the item. She is bound to fall in love with at least one of these generous strangers!
So far it has not been going so well. I blame the men. It is very difficult to tell from a yahoo!groups profile whether or not a man is a good catch. Many of the men have been smelly, or old, or married! My roommate has not fallen for any of them, and I cannot blame her. In addition, our apartment is slowly filling up with unwanted furniture and I will eventually run out of space for new things.
I have therefore decided I need to be a little more specific in my Freecycle postings. Here is what I just posted to my local Freecycle yahoo!group.
"ATTENTION FREECYCLERS:
My roommate and I are in search of a sexy single looking to get rid of his ironing board. Maybe you associate it with bad memories and want it gone, or maybe you had an ironing accident that has left you with interesting scars. However, if you are simply sloppy and don't care how you look anymore, do not bother, we do not want you. Please include a photo (of yourself, not the ironing board) and a list of your five favorite romantic comedies.
P.S. Must not play World of Warcraft. NO EXCEPTIONS."
I think this is going good places! I suppose it does sound a little creepy, but if you go through your whole life without ever sounding a little creepy, then you will never have your living room to yourself again.
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