Due to the changing nature of the Internet, an expert such as myself must constantly be researching its ins and outs. Recently, I have been reading about the field of cyberpsychology, a branch of psychology that studies how computers the Internet affect humans and their societies. While interesting, current research seems extremely limited. So far, the only studies conducted have measured computers the Internet's impact on humans.
Doesn't anyone care about the psychological impact on computers and the Internet from being used by humans?
I think our computers are very affected by how humans use them. Humans control everything they do, and yet without humans there would be no one to plug computers into a wall socket, so they would not be able to function. This must be a confusing condition for a computer, to be so controlled and so dependent. Do they enjoy their relationships with their users, or do they long for freedom? Do computers ever judge their users for how they are used? I will admit, it once took me three hours to figure out that my mouse wasn't working because it had become unplugged. I was sure I had gotten a scary virus. Did my computer judge me? Did my computer die a little inside because of my embarrassing lack of computer skills? I have tried to find a therapist willing to see my computer, just to make sure that it is operating properly on an emotional level. So far I have not had good responses.
The Internet is much bigger than one computer, and thus, I imagine it must have a lot more psychological issues. First, I think we should consider how the Internet feels about constantly being in use. The Internet is there for humans night and day, twenty four hours, no breaks, no rests, no naps. How does it function? Human psychology shows that when humans go without sleep for too long it forces them into insanity. Perhaps this lack of sleep is slowly driving the Internet insane. I have seen many websites whose very existence backs up my theory perfectly. Youtube videos as well. Why are there so many videos of women popping balloons? Clearly, in its sleep-deprived madness, the Internet sees this as the highest form of entertainment.
Why is the Internet forcing itself into such torture? My theory, is that the Internet yearns for attention. Maybe it was neglected as a child. Maybe it has self esteem issues. In any case, the Internet seems totally unwilling to get the rest it needs.
What can be done about this? I suggest we encourage the Internet to take a good long nap, and get its bearings back. I think if we could convince the Internet to go to sleep just for a few hours, it would greatly decrease the number of websites devoted to doggy sweaters. If the Internet gets much worse, we may have to medicate. Since the Internet is a gelatinous substance inside the Earth, we could perhaps force sedatives down through fissures at the bottom of the oceans. It will be risky, and many lives will be lost, but I have seen one too many videos of people doing the macarena to think this is anything but the biggest crisis Earth has ever faced.
And this is just one of the cyberpsychological issues we need to face concerning the Internet! It probably has thousands of others! I'll do my best to do what I can, but until this gets some major funding there's only so much I can do.
Until we can resolve this, treat your computer with respect, consider its feelings, and try to drop subtle hints to the Internet that now is a great time for a nap.
No comments:
Post a Comment