Why Pay For Education When the Internet Has It For Free?

ATTENTION HUMANS:

Humans put a lot of value on education. Unlike some species, they cannot simply go to the store and buy knowledge implants to upgrade their brains (or other thinking organs). They have to actually take the time to learn things, and have thus created a multi-gazillion dollar industry intended to educate their species and give their graduates degrees confirming their knowledge. And when there is a multi-gazillion dollar industry, the Internet will always become involved!

Online education is all the rage, with both the young and old, male and female, living and dead. Taking courses and getting degrees using the Internet allows humans to get the training and certification they need for their personal and professional goals from the comfort of their own homes. Many colleges and universities have special programs designed specifically to be taken over the Internet. However, these cost money, usually the same price that it would cost to take the course at the actual school.

For a less expensive alternative, there are many other Internet websites that offer the same knowledge for free. Like colleges, many are have false information and do not have a good reputation. No one will be impressed if you tell them you studied at Internet website www.awesomehistoryfacts.com. It is much better if you can tell them you studied on Wikipedia! Everyone has heard of Wikipedia, so they will be very impressed. People are impressed by things they have heard of!

There is a wide variety of subjects you can study using Internet websites! If your passion is media and communications, why not attempt a major in Youtube studies? Or if you want to take advantage of the growing medical field, you could get a Masters of WebMD. No one will give you a diploma, but that is easily fixed using the computer program Adobe Photoshop. Simply use Google Images to find a picture of the kind of diploma you feel you deserve, then photoshop in your name, major, and Internet website of study. You can then hang it on the wall of your home and or office to impress both dinner guests and prospective clients.

Imagine how this could change your business practices!

POTENTIAL CLIENT: I would like to hire your catering company for my business venture, but I am concerned by your lack of culinary experience.

YOU: Please note, sir or madam, that the wall behind me contains a minimally enhanced diploma from Internet website foodnetwork.com.

POTENTIAL CLIENT: I see! That changes everything. Also I am going to hire you.

As you see, this could potentially be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Remember, it is best to limit yourself to a few diplomas. Not only will it make them more believable, but you do not want to make people feel jealous or intimidated by your wealth of knowledge.