ATTENTION HUMANS:
The Internet can be very frustrating at times.
As some of you may remember, I am not originally from Earth. A miscommunication on my planet caused me to relocate here a few months ago. Since then I haven't kept in touch with anyone from back home, fearing that it would be awkward and incriminating. So imagine my surprise and dismay when a former acquaintance sends me a Facebook friend request! I was quite shocked! Under location it says he is on Earth, in my same city in fact! I had no idea there were any of my species on Earth besides me.
Unfortunately, to see any more of his information I would have to confirm his friends request. But if I do that, then he can see all of my information! I am very reluctant to do that! I don't know if he has an ulterior motive to friending me. Is he trying to write a rival blog? Is he trying to steal my trophy for "Best Blogger of the Year"? He's dreaming if he thinks I'm giving that back!
Maybe if I friend him then immediately unfriend him I can find out what he's doing on Earth. But what if he's online during that slim window, and is able to look at my information? That would be terrible! Or what if Facebook malfunctions, and doesn't actually unfriend him? These are important questions!
Sometimes I am saddened by how little information Facebook allows me to find out about others. For example, I recently friended one of my neighbors. I have been extremely curious lately why her apartment smells like vanilla sometimes when I pass by. Is she baking? Is that just a scented candle or room fragrance? I have to know! Yet her Facebook reveals no hints! And when I google her name plus vanilla, nothing comes up! I wish Facebook had a feature where they would find out these important questions for me, and post them on her Facebook page.
Of course, I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me, so perhaps this desire is selfish. Still, I believe in technology, and I will never abandon the hope that it will make all of my wildest dreams come true, no matter how illogical.
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